While I was trying to transfer my writing from my phone to the website, I accidentally erased half of it. So bear with me if these first few paragraphs seem terse and vague. I'm annoyed. I was going to try and keep this post short so I could go to bed at a decent hour, but let's be real... I always find something to think about and keep myself awake.
After breakfast I walked with Tiffany and the kiddos down the street to the market. We bought armfuls of produce for the week for about $13, and Kase got a brachiosaurus made out of corn husks so obviously that was the highlight of the morning. Then the whole fam rode downtown to jump in Miguel's car and head to where the church was celebrating baptisms today. We drove there Ecuadorian-style, meaning we fit 7 people in a 5 person car and I ended up on Tiffany's lap. Nobody got hurt and nobody got pulled over so I'd call it a successful trip. Quite efficient. We watched a bunch of people profess their faith and get baptized (yes of course I cried okay) and then we all ate together. They roasted an entire pig. It was incredible. I am a fan.
(Bobby teaching about baptism before it all began.)
(What a beautiful day to celebrate people's decisions to live for the Lord!)
There's not much more to tell about today! Bobby drove us home and he bought us ice cream from a guy that was stopped by the house when we pulled up. Tiffany looked at me and said, "Hasn't it always been your dream to eat ice cream out of the back of a truck?" I replied, "Absolutely." All my wishes have been fulfilled.
(Ice cream and good company. Doesn't get any better than that.)
The rest of the night was very homey. I read about intercession in My Utmost, napped on the couch, we ordered pizza and heard about Jeremy's crazy college stories, and then I did laundry! I haven't done a lot of intentional reflecting or processing today. I think what has most impacted me on this 13th day of December is a post I saw on Facebook by the Proverbs 31 organization:
"...as you pray through your feelings, see if maybe your situation has more to do with you being prepared than you being overlooked.
There is something wonderfully sacred that happens when a girl chooses to look past being set aside to see God's call for her to be set apart."
Yesterday, God was saying to me "I see your heart." When I was being prayed over, the woman referenced the Luke 7 story we read during service about the sinful woman loving Jesus and said, "Because that is the desire of your heart." That about blew me over. YES. I have always connected with that story, longing to pour out everything I have at the feet of Jesus. For "her many sins have been forgiven; this is why she loved much."
Also, my friend Nick shared a post today that said, "God will have you cross paths with whoever He needs to remind you that He's not finished with you yet." Throughout today, especially while I was getting my heart right with the Lord before communion, I had to keep giving over feelings of bitterness and frustration. It's not about me. I think I have never had so much drama in my life as I have in the past six months. And I don't know if it's going to let up any time soon, so I'm trying to learn how to navigate all of it as best I can. Trying to respond with the love and grace of Jesus in everything. It's hard. It sucks, finding out how selfish I am. But there's so much going on behind the scenes that I'm not aware of. And I have to trust that God is doing his work in all the hearts involved. My job is to "bring the person, or the circumstance that impinges on you before God until you are moved by His attitude toward that person or circumstance" (from today's My Utmost devotional).
It's a story for another time, but lately God has been teaching me sooo much about how to keep my heart tender and how to love with the sacrificial love of Christ. I'm praying that it continues and deepens and becomes more and more a natural tendency. Trusting that he has already made my heart new and made my identity in Christ the truest version of my person. I don't even know if that makes sense, but anyway... One step at a time.
"When you walk into the room you know we can't resist
Every bottle of perfume always ends up on the floor in a mess
You make us sparkle and you make us shine
Like the stars who sing on your chorus line
Through space and time we'll harmonize
Where deep meets deep like the ocean meets the sky"
Buenas noches y Dios te bendiga.
Mucho amor de Cuenca.
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