Choose This Day

“Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
Joshua 24:14-15 (ESV)

"Choose."

If we're living in the reality of the Kingdom of God, I don't think there's any way to over-spiritualize. That phrase gets on my nerves like nothing else. I think we use it as a cop out, a way to sidestep the responsibility of living like the Kingdom has invaded every nook and cranny of our existence. Every choice is an opportunity to feed my flesh or feed my spirit. Every choice is a challenge - am I going to lean on my own understanding, or listen closely for the Father's will? Every choice is a diverging path - will I protect and insulate myself and my desires, or open up and give of myself because I want the Lord's definition of success over my own?

Let me be clear: I am terrible at this. I am naturally horrible at decision-making (#INFPlife), and it is ONLY by the Spirit of God living inside me that I have seen recent progress in choosing well. Seriously. I have prayed and cried my eyes out in frustration at my inability to make strong choices, and have then seen evidence of the Holy Spirit moving strongly over my will to accomplish the will of the Father. Thank God. It has become a new level of normal, this continued refining of my desires. 

I recognize that the above dichotomies of choice don't sound like a particularly appealing foundation on which to build a life. It sounds largely exhausting. Who would want to go through life accountable at every turn? Who would want to carry the responsibility of determining between life and death every time they are faced with a decision? I want to say, "Thankfully, it's not that serious." But it is. 

Thankfully, we are not left to ourselves. Thankfully, it is the grace of God himself that protects us and gives us the room to learn how to choose. Thankfully, his guidance is always available to us, and he promises to never forsake us in our confusion and lack of power. Thankfully, his purposes cannot be thwarted by our small-mindedness, and he is able and willing to use even our messes for his plans, for our good. 

It's a set-up... a glorious set-up. God is passionate about our freedom of will (because love is only love when it is freely chosen), and he is passionate about being the fullness of our redemption when we allow that freedom of will to go awry. If we have hearts that run after God and desire to be filled and changed by him, he will never leave us permanently in our inability. Will we sometimes feel the consequences of our wrong choices? Yes. But sometimes he will protect us from even those. Will we sometimes ache in our lack and inefficacy? Yes. But we will always have the larger confidence that he is sufficient for us, and that he is actively completing the reconstruction work he initiated in our souls. 

He pursues us even when we choose apart from him. His constant invitation to us is: "Come." It is simply: "Choose." Ask the Lord to show you the ways your daily choices reveal what your heart wants. Ask him to help you want him more than anything. Ask him to help you use your time, energy and devotion to reflect your highest priorities. Ask him to help you love his ways and desire to live in his presence. Only there will we find fullness of joy. Why settle for less?